A Review for People Who Have a Sense of Humor
by Mark Mallon and Mark's Alter-ego Tom

I wasn't originally planning to see Brokeback Mountain. I ended up watching it with my girlfriend, after it was requested by a Magi reader. I wanted my review to include voices from as many intelligent places as possible, so I put the call out to my Magi Creations cohorts. Unfortunately for my word count, they're both straight guys with no interest in watching a movie about a couple of gay cowboys.

Don't worry, you still have me.

Aren't I lucky. I couldn't get the voice of my one gay friend, because apparently he's too busy, possibly even to read this website. So it was just me and my girlfriend, who had seen it before, so she didn't mind my voice-overs in the beginning few scenes.

He wasn't taking it seriously! I'm the real movie critic! This bastard is taking the credit for all my intelligent commentary!

This movie received quite a bit of attention, much of which came from people who never intend to see the movie. There are ten thousand jokes out there about this movie, more than half of which involve the word Brokeback as a simple euphemism for being gay. By now, everyone knows this. The writer knew this would happen before she published the book. I'm not so different, I was making humorous voice-overs in the first few scenes because I felt very awkward sitting there waiting for those two guys to make out.

I approached this movie differently than I do most. Most movies, I can turn off my brain and just watch. If I write a review, it's because I thought about it after the fact, or because the movie was so bad my vegetative state was actually offended by it, or whatever. For this movie, I couldn't relax, for obvious reasons.

He's a damn dirty homophobe!

Why did I invite you? Anyway, I could follow it for the first while, but there was a point where I couldn't anymore. It wasn't a complicated story, and I think that was part of my problem. I was expecting to see them falling for one another, or some kind of slower romantic development, and it may have even been there, but I didn't see it. They seemed to jump on each other just a little too quickly and mutually. I simply couldn't follow the motivation. My girlfriend did well enough, although she's made a few comments despairing the fact that they were gay.

She wants them both. Fear the gay men, for they will invade and take our women! Like in the movie.

Yeah, there was more visible female nudity than male. Not gonna complain about that. But when the two men were naked together, and I got up to refill our drinks, she insisted on pausing the damn movie.

She doesn't understand you like I do. Let's go fishing.

Magi Creations does not endorse or condone violence based on difference in race, creed, color, sexuality, or any other such difference. Freeloading morons, however, are fair game.

After awhile, I simply adjusted to the fact that these two cowboys were in love. The fact that they both ended up with women didn't bother me at all, even though I accepted that they were gay. One has to live a life, and in the world of that time, in that place, it was much more necessary to fit in.

Later on in the movie, I was able to understand the details that were unspoken and supposed to be understood, like how Ennis knew what had happened with Jack at the end. The sense of regret that the people around them felt about getting close enough to know what was being hidden was apparent. It seemed to me to have been a tragedy both about them never moving forward from where they were at the beginning, and about their families, who had to move forward for years while they stayed unreachable, caught in that time. She ended the story very well, and by that I mean that for the characters within the movie, the story of Jack and Ennis, which spanned decades and overshadowed everything, was over.

I didn't think the world was all that realistic. I think this one was more believable.

I'll choose to respect your opinion, even though it is completely invalid. Your link of choice was nowhere near as well constructed as this.