Why the &#@% not?

When you've committed yourself to reviewing movies, you're left with little choice when a movie comes out with the title, "Snakes on a Plane." You know what it isn't. When you see that Samuel L. Jackson is in it, you know what it is.

That's not to say that he can make (or save) a movie. His presence didn't save the Star Wars movies, after all. But this one's a bit different.

Yeah, he saw the title of the movie and took the role without looking at the script.

I can see sequals in the future, can't you?

They tried to change the working title, but he said if they did, he wouldn't do it. What was that other one he did, the one with sharks?

Sharks on a Plane!

No, it was in the water.

Sharks on a Boat! Oh, you mean Deep Blue Sea.

Yeah, that was great. He started to make his big pull-together speech, and the shark ate him.

Yeah, but Snakes on a Plane was a great movie.

It was?

Yeah, well... It had to be one of the greatest acting challenges of his career. He had a lot of lines he had to say without cracking up. Who was the main stewardess? She looks so familiar.

That was Julianna Marguiles. And they prefer flight attendants.

The snakes?

No, the stewardesses.

Stewardesses on a Plane!

Oh, and I have a new hero. The marketing guy for Sony who got Samuel L. to say, "All praises to the playstation!" It was awesome when he said, "I am sick and tired of these m@%&#* f^*$@^ snakes on this m@%&#* f^*$@^ plane!"

Yeah, that was classic Samuel L. He was making a B movie and he knew it.

You know they didn't let anyone see it before its opening weekend? No critics, no sneak previews, no slips, no leaks.

You know what the critics would have said.

Exactly the opposite of what I'm saying?

Yup.

Well, what do critics know. It was pure marketing genius, I say. It's made $30 million.

It cost $33 million to make.

Give me my moment, will you?