who would win in a war, the transformers or the entire school of hogwarts?

brodie

Hey, Brodie.

From the fact that you put the entire school in on this lineup, instead of Megatron vs. Dumbledore, I'm guessing you've got a pretty strong opinion on this one.

But you didn't specify Autobots or Decepticons. Also, I'm going to assume you mean the robot cast of the new movie, as it was pretty awesome. (Sidenote: Many people didn't like it, and they have their reasons. Please feel free to send your reasons to the Wordsmith, and we'll discuss.)

So we'll throw them all in there. What's going to happen, before anybody even lifts a wand, Megatron's already badmouthing Starscream, while ordering shots taken at the Autobots. Smaller Decepticons are sniping from afar, and the Autobots, while trading shots with the Decepticons, are trying to convince the Hogwarts school that they're on the same side, because if nothing else, they want to convince the seemingly unarmed humans to scatter and save themselves. This is when the staff start showing what they've been surreptitiously doing, and the glamours resembling the youngest students vanish, as the little ones have been herded off by the next grade up.

The moment a shot gets anywhere near the staff or students, the wizards start unloading on the robots--let's face it, to the uninitiated, they all look like a big storm of flying metal pieces. So they're looking to stun anything moving, and destroy anything that's obviously firing at them. Scorpinoc manages a couple of good strikes using the element of surprise, and Starscream takes a few potshots at Megatron, blaming the Imperius curse. With the overall mechanical chaos, and the fact that it was the school in this lineup, which is pretty organised, and your setup doesn't include any Death Eaters, save one, I have to give this one to Hogwarts.

Sorry, Brodie. I know you were hoping for something different.

Mechanically yours,
Magi wordsmith

What if we could all just get along?
Why are there so many different things?
and
What ever happened to the beginning?

Mr. Obscure

Dear Mr. Obscure:

To know the answers, simply separate the truth from the lies.

Your guide to the great mysteries,
Magi Wordsmith

to: wordsmith@magi-creations.com

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cicada  bedtime  amnesia divergent   cemetery  architect abode.   depreciable 
baylor bocklogged  abbey blurt  cyclone    accuracy.


Ester Smith

Dear Ester:

We already did this joke. Go away.

Magi Wordsmith

hello mr.wordsnith. my name is warren and i am going in for surgery on
tuesday. i may not make it, so i was wondering if you could answer this
question for me. will they ever make a good movie based on an old t.v.
sitcom?

Dear Warren.

Dear, dear Warren.

Warren, Warren, Warren.

You're about three punctuation marks away from being considered a scam artist out to get me. Why, just the other week I was talking about the first person "I". You do pass the tests, however: your punctuation, grammar, and spelling are consistent. Your spelling is almost perfect, your grammar cannot be faulted, and you haven't placed commas where periods should be or vice-versa. That's how I know you're legitimate. Is what I would have said, had your possibly-penultimate act of email not been to ask me about T.V. sitcoms.

It just doesn't make any sense, Warren! Any red-blooded native-English-speaking shoe-wearing man in this hemisphere knows how hard the ALF movie is going to rock. So what's up with the question? You did KNOW about the ALF movie, didn't you, Warren? You do KNOW that with the way technology has advanced, ALF himself will be computer generated, as acted by a little person, also computer generated, on a green-screen set, with enough processing power behind the imaging system to make his every hair wave individually in the wind, as though he were an ACTUAL PUPPET. So what's the scam, Warren?

What do you think you can get from me, by getting me to reveal the plot of the new PERFECT STRANGERS movie? Or the fact that Balki will be played by THAT 70's SHOW's Fez? You probably weren't even aware of the just-released two-hour GILLIGAN'S ISLAND movie, or the leaked secrets of Marianne's baby, and the death of one of the main characters. What do you think, Warren? Who's gonna die? Oh, right, YOU DON'T KNOW.

It's all just too convenient, Warren. A little too suspicious. If you REALLY thought you might die, Warren, if that is your real name, you would have that information. I mean, it's the stuff we know when we die. We see our whole lives flash before our eyes, and it's in surround sound and hi-def. We get these kinds of answers to our questions. That's how I know, Warren.

That's how I know you're trying to scam me. It's how I know that you're trying to pull at my heartstrings, when you and I both know you'll come out of that surgery just fine. Probably something minor, like getting your tonsils removed, or your wisdom teeth. But you won't succeed, Warren. You won't pry the well-known secrets of the Northwestern World from me that easily.

I almost bought it. I almost told you everything. But you know what got me, Warren? It was a rookie mistake. You emailed the wrong guy. I'm not the Wordsnith. I'm the Wordsmith. And though I am still thoroughly confused as to how getting any of that information would have scammed me, what you were trying to get, but I saw the scam, and that's enough. Go back to hell, you parasitic bastard. You and your perfect teeth.

Never your patsy,
Magi Wordsmith.

P.S. If you're genuinely going into life-threatening surgery, and my name was just a typo, no. No they won't.

Got a question for the Magi Wordsmith?
wordsmith@magi-creations.com