Why is Colin such an asshole?
Why is Amos so gorgeous?

Gorgon.S

I feel I must answer these questions in reverse, Gorgon. I'm sure you understand, as looking at Gorgons straight on has a tendency to turn people to stone, historically and mythologically speaking.

As some ancient words of wisdom tell us, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Therefore, Amos is gorgeous because those who see him believe him to be gorgeous. For this, of course, there can only be one explanation: Amos is an incubus, a demon who penetrates people's dreams and enthralls them. I mean, if he were really so gorgeous, as you say he is, you would know why. You would see the details, like the way his hair sits just so, the way his cheeks pinch when he smiles, or how his eyes just seem to captivate you while he's spewing the lovliest profanities. The only reason he would enthrall your dreams like this is that he likes you, and wants your attention. Treat his fragile heart with care.

Colin is such an asshole because he's jealous of all the love and affection that Amos is bestowing on your dreams. Colin secretly wishes Amos would come to him at night, and he's taking it out on you.

I hope this helps, Gorgon.
Magi Wordsmith

 

Dear Magi Wordsmith,

I have a simple question and i know ur gonna have some answer so here it goes
what came first the chicken or the egg?

From,
Little Sister

Pull up a chair by the fire, here, little sister, and take a look at the stars. They tell the grand and glorious story of the chicken. I'll translate for you, because that's the kind of generous guy I am, helping people to understand these most important mysteries of the universe.

The chicken came into being long ago, a result of a process that the old movie, The Relic, called the Callistro Effect. The gyst of the term is that every now and then, evolution leaps forward, but instead of giving people laser eyes and super magnet powers, it results in massive monsters who rip people's heads off and eat their glands. And occasionally it results in chickens. The world had never seen a chicken, and so when the first one hatched from its egg, it was eaten by the carnivorous dinosaurs who shared the nest. And yet, the mystical forces saw fit to try again. Chickens were begotten by many things: alligators, pterodactyls, kangaroos, and occasionally house cats. The confusion this caused for the pet is generally only a fraction of that of the owner, who usually is familiar with the idea that cats should give birth to tiny cats, sometimes called kittens.

It was from this that we must assume the modern day chicken arose, saved from its food-fate by the people who knew it to be a sign from God, or perhaps one of his better practical jokes. The chicken, surviving the umpteen hundredth initial forming, then laid its eggs, which people found to be tasty. Once somebody thought to cook them first, the chicken's fate as a piece of livestock was assured. They had only to mate it with something handy, to breed more of its kind. So they tried to mate it with another cat. When that didn't work, our popular breakfast food was out of mankind's hands until two chickens of opposite sex were created from various sources, in this case a hamster and a sunflower. I'm telling you, Little Sister, the forces of nature were determined to see chickens in this world. It's almost as though all the millions of years of evolution have been boiling down to that one goal, that one little flightless bird.

By that, we must conclude that when we sit down to our breakfast, we are eating Nature's greatest plan, in an effort to save ourselves from the extinction we would no doubt face if the chicken were allowed to run free upon this earth. To that end, we have also polluted the air, stripped the ozone, and brought forth from the netherworld Pauly Shore. This all keeps the chickens in what we have artificially deemed to be their place.

So eat up, Little Sister. Do your part to ensure we humans still have a place in this world. And when you say your prayers at night, be sure to give thanks for such legendary heroes as Ronald McDonald, Colonel Saunders, and Mary Brown.

So to answer your question, the egg came in all its forms before it was polluted with the evil seed of the chicken.

From the Barbecue,
Magi Wordsmith

 

Hey wordsmith! your a monster. Dont worry though, everybody is a monster.
My Question is, why is Amos so bloody GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!
He is a person (go figure) that I work with and he is flipping GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!
*For the record, i do not have feelings for this person (go figure) nor do i really find him gorgeous.
It is just something we say work to piss him off. (even though he probably likes it)

Oh and about Collin, dont worry about him he is A.O.K
Im sorry if you came up with something awesome to say about him
feel free though to add him to the question and answer if you did come up with a something awesome

WITH AWESOMENESS

Gorgon

Dude, thesaurus. That's my first suggestion, but since you've become even more entranced by Amos since our last conversation, I can tell you wouldn't see the words, just sitting their flipping through the pages, wistfully thinking of Amos. He must really be cranking up the power in those dream-possessions. The only explanation I can think of for that would be that he suspected you knew of his true form and intentions.

He must have searched your memory for the source of your suspicions, and found me in there. That's why I am a monster in your eyes, now, along with everyone else. But you know your feelings for him are artificial, which is why you protest to your own professions of admiration. Man, he's really getting to you. Even to the point that he's removed from your thoughts any notion of Colin that would take away from your complete and immediate devotion to Amos. He's taking your every waking thought. Do yourself a favor, and try not to drive too much while he has this hold over you. Or vote. Or chew gum. It could get ugly.

The best way to break his spell over you is to reveal his own reflection to him. He will undoubtedly be attracted to it, and use his powers on it, which will make him want it even more, which will make him pour everything he's got into seducing this vision that he sees. He will fall madly in love with himself, and you will be free again to think your own thoughts. That is, if you have the willpower to make him see himself--if you aren't already so far gone that you're ready to give in. If that is the case, your only hope is Colin.

Fight on, Colin, for Gorgon's sake.

Supernaturally,
Magi Wordsmith